Top Ten Signs Your Hibachi Chef is a Novice

Top Ten Signs Your Hibachi Chef is a Novice

10. When you make reservations for “the last available table,” you are required to provide proof of insurance.
9. You are allowed to have your food prepared one of two ways–raw on the inside or burned on the outside–but the chef manages both.
8. The food cart is piled high with steaks, shrimp, chicken, vegetables, and gauze pads.
7. The chef has penciled in just one eyebrow.
6. Before the chef begins cooking, everyone is given protective eyewear, or a full body suit if they’re allergic to shrimp.
5. When the knives come out, the wait staff ducks.
4. Unlike every other table, yours has a two drink minimum. You don’t have to pay for them, but you are required to drink them before the chef arrives.
3. There is the tape outline of a body on the wall next to your chair.
2. The cooking “tricks” the chef performs include lighting his own knife on fire, sticking a filet to the ceiling, and flinging an egg over his shoulder into the back of the head of a guy at another table.
1. He proves that, yes, you can put an eye out with that thing.

About okcstephens

Owen K.C. Stephens Owen Kirker Clifford Stephens is the Starfinder Design Lead for Paizo Publishing, the Freeport and Pathfinder RPG developer for Green Ronin, a developer for Rite Publishing, and the publisher and lead genius of Rogue Genius Games. Owen has written game material for numerous other companies, including Wizards of the Coast, Kobold Press, White Wolf, Steve Jackson Games and Upper Deck. He also consults, freelances, and in the off season, sleeps.

Posted on September 4, 2015, in Silliness and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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