Top Ten Signs You’ve Wandered into an Adventure That’s Too High-Level For You

Let’s face it, sometimes your characters bite off more than they can chew, and the GM isn’t going to warn you. So here are some warning signs that the adventure you’re on is for characters of a much higher level.

10. You run into a band of kobolds… with vorpal swords, the Loc Nar, a simple gold ring that renders one of them invisible, a three-bladed sword, Harry Potter’s wand, and the Glaive from Krull.

9. When the name of the adventure is revealed, the GM’s roommate screams in terror and starts to cry.

8. Prior to playing the GM requires you sign a waiver written by Gary Gygax and some troll named “Grimtooth.”

7. The proffered reward actually sounds valuable enough to be worth risking your life.

6. After a full week of effort utilizing every skill, spell, tool, magic item and tactic at your disposal… you still can’t get the dungeon’s front door open.

5.Monsters refer to you as “lawn trash,” and don’t bother to kill you or take your loot, since it’s not worth their time.

4. You don’t know the name of the evil wizard you’re supposed to kill, but he rides Ancalagon, carries Callandor, and has Elminster as a maid.

3. You suffer a Total Party Kill. In the first encounter of the adventure. Which was just looking at the treasure map in the tavern where you got hired.

2. Thor, God of Thunder, is on the random monster table. As the result “07-13.”

1. A ferocious beast that takes your whole party three hours of balls-to-the-wall combat to defeat, taking all your spare resources, turns out to be a familiar. Of a henchman. Who works for a cohort. Of the main villain’s shieldbearer.

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About okcstephens

Owen K.C. Stephens Owen Kirker Clifford Stephens is the Starfinder Design Lead for Paizo Publishing, the Freeport and Pathfinder RPG developer for Green Ronin, a developer for Rite Publishing, and the publisher and lead genius of Rogue Genius Games. Owen has written game material for numerous other companies, including Wizards of the Coast, Kobold Press, White Wolf, Steve Jackson Games and Upper Deck. He also consults, freelances, and in the off season, sleeps.

Posted on December 29, 2015, in Silliness and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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