Top Ten Signs Your Narrative RPG GM is Used to Pathfinder*

*Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That

10. When you describe your character as a hunter, the GM tells you this game doesn’t have hybrid classes. When you explain you just mean the character is a trapper, he asks where you got a conversion for that archetype. You discover you also can’t call yourself an archer, battle scout, beastmaster, bounty hunter, crossbowman, falconer, skirmisher, or sniper without the GM mistaking it for a game term.

9. When you try to invoke your aspect “Only Cries in the Rain,” the GM tells you an adjacent foe gets an attack of opportunity because you were dramatic while within its threatened area.

8. If you mention your character having strong loyalty, the GM tells you that gives you access to the Pride drawback, UCam, page 65, before realizing this game doesn’t use UCam.

7. When the group decides to buy pizza, the GM insists on using downtime rules, and won’t talk about the cost until you reach the Income Phase.

6. The GM warns you that if your combination of playing a character that is both “dedicated to his religion” AND “easily seduced by pleasures of the flesh” turns out to be overpowered, you’ll have to retrain one of them.

5. When you sketch a picture of your character the GM says you can’t look like that, because it’s not on the list of Approved Additional Resources for Pathfinder Society.

4. When your character wants to gasp out his secret love of his lifelong childhood friend with his last, bloody breath, the GM tells you that’s impossible because after that attack you’re already dead.

3. The GM ends the entire campaign, because there are only 12 monsters in the rulebook, and without another 5 hardback books worth of foes he’s run out of things for you all to kill.

2. Most game sessions are spent with the GM trying to sidestep roleplaying and character interaction to get to the “good stuff” of combat, which is covered by just two pages of rules and generally handled by a single die roll.

1. The GM seems uncomfortable with your character being “an older duelist who yearns for a simpler time when she still had hope and faith in her fellow citizens and could enjoy art in poetry, but now fears her only purpose in life is to kill which makes all beauty painful to her,” but is fine if you say you are a “half-elf monk with tiefling racial traits who took one level of sorcerer because it lets you use a wand of mage armor without a skill check.”

 

(After all, fair is fair on making jokes about play styles.)

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About okcstephens

Owen K.C. Stephens Owen Kirker Clifford Stephens is the Starfinder Design Lead for Paizo Publishing, the Freeport and Pathfinder RPG developer for Green Ronin, a developer for Rite Publishing, and the publisher and lead genius of Rogue Genius Games. Owen has written game material for numerous other companies, including Wizards of the Coast, Kobold Press, White Wolf, Steve Jackson Games and Upper Deck. He also consults, freelances, and in the off season, sleeps.

Posted on March 6, 2016, in Retrospective, Silliness and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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