Why no, I DON’T normally post at 7am PST…

10. You have gained a much strong understanding of what Friar’s Club Roasts, Best of the Tonight Show, and I Love Lucy Classics are available on DVD for 4 low, easy payments.

9. Also, those all sound like worthwhile uses of your time and money.

8. You really DO spend time wondering how the script for Gremlins 2 got approved.

7. You can hear time.

6. You realize you are becoming short-tempered, especially in arguments with your bowl of M&Ms.

5. You receive an Eviction Notice from the Land of Nod.

4. You keep remembering the Death of Bing Bong from inside Out, and bursting into tears.

3. You realize just how passive-aggressive it is to constantly ask who’s a good boy. The dog doesn’t need to validate your canine valuation system. Just TELL him he’s a good boy. Stand by your decision.

2. You daydream about being focused and alert enough to not daydream all the time.

1. You finally manage to have some lovely conversations and real-time chats with old friends. Who live on different continents. In time zones offset from yours by 8 to 16 hours.

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