Category Archives: Makes Perfect Sense
Sometimes, you need something out of the ordinary for a fantasy RPG dinner scene.
Sometimes, you just need a laugh.
Top Ten Iffy RPG Dinners
“No, it’s not seafood. But it is peeled, coated in flour, pepper and salt, and deep-fried!”
“It’s a one-ingredent fusion food! Also popular with chimera crisps, griffon au grautin, and manticore fries.
“It provides both the hare meat and the veggies, all in one butchering.”
8. Owlbear Mole Poblano
“No not owl-bear-mole. Mole poblano. The sauce. It really brings out the, ah… the gamy flavor of the wild mammal-and-fowl meat.”
5. Mimic Meat.
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Adventure idea: A community of unusually short-tailed, round-headed ratfolk (an ethnicity called ‘voles’ by other local races) who live in borrows (boroughs?) outside a major city have begun to be assaulted and driven out of local markets by rougher citizens of the city. The settlers accuse the ratfolk of theft, and desecration of several shrines within the city, saying the ratfolk move through the city’s sewers and drains, and have even been seen trying to get at children asleep in their homes.
The ratfolk proclaim their innocence, and point out they warned the city’s leaders weeks ago that wererats had been spotted in the thick brush of a nearby woods. The ratfolk believe the wererats have infected some city dwellers. The city government thinks the ratfolk are making false claims about wererats to protect some ratfolk hooligans, and thus aren’t taking it seriously.
Thus the ratfolk need help, because the wererats (who do indeed walk among them, including a few wererat ratfolk who only have a modest appearance change in hybrid form) are a demon cult who wish to summon agents of their demonic patron, a scavenger lord who spreads disease and uses vrocks as his agents. The wererats have summoned one vrock already, and want two more so they can do a dance of ruin beneath the city streets! So, the rastfolk want to hire some outsiders (the PCs) to fairly investigate.
The players must separate fact from fiction, deal with hunting down were rats both in the city sewers and hiding in plain site among the ratfllk, and ultimately deal with the apocalyptic whereat demon cult’s plans.
The name of the adventure?
“Vrock and Vole”
Simplified High-Level Pathfinder
Simplified Mythic Pathfinder
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I kinda want to write an adventure set on the Isle of Misfit Magic Items.
“So you have a 9th level spell as a prerequisite. Oh! Are you a ring of wishes?”
“No!” (sobs) “I’m a ring of foresight. I’m a ring with literally the only 9th level spell no one cares about.”
“Well… at least you’re an intelligent item!”
“Not that intelligent. I can’t spell.”
“But you have a spell in you!”
“Yeah… but it’s ‘Foursight’!”
… Along with the Gem of Climbing, Cloak of Elven Strength, and Rope of Holding.
That said, it would terrify adventurers in an aquatic campaign.
So, for some reason, if you tell some rpg players a character is lawful good, and that character is opposed to an oppressive system of laws that marginalize gnomes, there’s a subset of players who freak out because you aren’t being lawful. And if two lawful characters disagree on how to handle a tricky question of order, this is seen as a weakness of the alignment system, because it “doesn’t describe those characters properly.”
But if you tell a group of players your gnome has red hair, they normally don’t pause to ask if you mean crimson, or auburn. And if two gnomes have radically different red hair? Everyone is fine with that.
Alignment is a descriptor, not a straight-jacket. And that descriptor is a very, very simple description about some of the ways your character thinks. And because Pathfinder (and many games like it) present some non-real things like holy swords and manifest demons of carnage as rules you can interact with, those very simple descriptors are used to determine who the holy sword likes, who it hinders, and who is most damaged by the unholy aura of the demon.
But it’s still just a descriptor. And if you play someone with supernatural powers tied to how a god views you (for example), and the GM has decided the descriptor no long describes you, you may lose game powers.
But it’s still just a descriptor.