Iffy Fantasy RPG Dinners

Sometimes, you need something out of the ordinary for a fantasy RPG dinner scene.
Sometimes, you just need a laugh.

So here are the:

Top Ten Iffy RPG Dinners

10. Minos Island Oysters
“No, it’s not seafood. But it is peeled, coated in flour, pepper and salt, and deep-fried!”
9. Froghemoth Legs, or cuisses de vargouille
Served with a dipping poison, one leg serves a party of 107.
8. Akhlut Surf and Turf
“It’s a one-ingredent fusion food! Also popular with chimera crisps, griffon au grautin, and manticore fries.
7. Wolf-In-Sheep’s-Clothing- Hasenpfeffer
“It provides both the hare meat and the veggies, all in one butchering.”
8. Owlbear Mole Poblano
“No not owl-bear-mole. Mole poblano. The sauce. It really brings out the, ah… the gamy flavor of the wild mammal-and-fowl meat.”
5. Mimic Meat.
“We convinced it to be a cake before we killed it. Carb free, but tastes like chocolate icing.”
4. Blink Corn Dogs.
“Watching people try to eat them really brings a laugh to the State Fair.”
3. Gelatinous Cube Steak.
“It’s self-tenderizing. And 100% umami. And acid.”
2. Flumph Carbonara
“What? It’s clearly a Flying Spaghetti Monster!”
1. Flailscargot
“We save a lot of prep time by using a single 12-foot, 5-headed snail weighing 3,000 pounds. It DOES take a lot of butter, though.”

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Serious Talk about My Abuse

This is about the sexual abuse I suffered as a child. It’s the most I have ever said about it, and I say it simply in the hopes that others who have suffered will find some strength in knowing they are not alone, and it’s not their fault. If you don’t want to read about that, I certainly understand.

I’m not sure how old I was. Older than 7, younger than 12, but I can’t tell you where in that range. The abuser was someone I and my entire family trusted, but not a family member. They were my friend. The abuse occurred once, that I can recall.

I never told anyone. I didn’t know how, and the transgressive nature of what happened to me was so great I was afraid. Afraid I’d get in trouble. Afraid I’d be  blamed. I felt too much shame to tell my family, and had too many bad experiences with trust violations or lack of belief with other authority figures.

I was also afraid I’d be a social outcast. I didn’t have a lot of friends. I mean, 3 or fewer. Often only 1. Losing someone I could hang out with, that my tiny number of friends hung out with, someone important to my social existence outside the home, was more than I could handle. The idea I had to spend time with my abuser or be alone was horrible, but ultimately I decided to be with my abuser. I know that doesn’t make sense, but it happens. One reason I have said RPGs saved my life is that they gave me a way to make more friends. Once I had a few more friends, sometime in the 6th grade, I stopped ever speaking to my abuser. I think that hurt their feelings. I don’t care. As I was making that transition to new friends, suicide had begun to be a practical solution for me.

For years, I couldn’t tell anyone. I was in a youth support group for most of my teens. These were people I trusted, literally with my life in a few cases. But I couldn’t even hint that I had been abused. It has been so long, people would wonder why I hadn’t said anything.

I told one of them, a young woman slightly older than me, on a weekend retreat to a rent house. She burst into tears, and told me how many times she’d been raped. We talked about her, not me, and I think that was the right call. She swore me to secrecy. I’ve never said anything about it, and only mention it now because it’s impossible even for people who know me to identify her, for various reasons. She never brought it up in group. In fact, she really never talked to me again, and I understand. I hope she got help.

I had been married for years before I told my wife. I had been in therapy with the same therapist for years before I could talk about it in therapy, and it’s still something that makes me freeze if I try to talk about it in person. Writing is safer. And writing about it, when I can, is the main way I try, still, more than 35 years later, to someone grapple with it.

Envoy for Pathfinder

Fantasy Envoy

It’s possible to take the space-faring envoy class, and revise it to work for the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game. Mostly you can ignore the rules tied to the science-fantasy ruleset (Stamina points, 10-minute rests, resolve Points, and so on), and run the character using straight Pathfinder rules. Some universal adjustments are needed (anything that requires a 10-minute break in which you spent 1 Resolve Point to regain Stamina instead can be done by taking 10 minutes and spending 1 point from your Envoy Intensity pool, a reaction can be done as a swift or immediate action, ignore rules that refer to spells, equipment, feats, or weapons that do not exist in the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, if an envoy effect creates a condition that does not exist in the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, apply the same penalties and rules the condition would have applied in the star-faring version of the rules).

For a few features, alternatives must be presented. Each of the items below replaces the envoy feature of the same name. those that do not share names with envoy features note when they are gained and what (if anything) they replace. The following also presents hp, skill, and proficiency rules for the envoy for use with the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game rules.

Othwerwise, you can use the normal tables and class features of the envoy.

Alignment: Any

Hit Die: d8

Class Skills: The envoy’s class skills are Acrobatics (Dex), Appraise (Int), Bluff (Cha), Climb (Str), Craft (Int), Diplomacy (Cha), Disable Device (Dex), Disguise (Cha), Escape Artist (Dex), Heal (Wis), Intimidate (Cha), Knowledge (all) (Int), Linguistics (Int), Perception (Wis), Perform (Cha), Profession (Wis), Ride (Dex), Sense Motive (Wis), Sleight of Hand (Dex), Stealth (Dex), Swim (Str), and Use Magic Device (Cha).

Skill Ranks per Level: 8 + Intelligence modifier

Proficiencies: The envoy is proficient with light and medium armor, all shields (except tower shields), all simple weapons, and light martial weapons.

Envoy Intensity Pool: The fantasy envoy does not need or use Resolve Points, as they are not a part of the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game. Instead at 1st level the envoy gains a Envoy Intensity Pool, with a number of points equal to half the envoy’s class level plus her Charisma bonus. Whenever a class feature calls for the envoy to spend a Resolve Point, she instead spends a point from her Envoy Intensity Pool. This pool is refreshed once a day after 8 hours of rest. At 16th level, she can restore up to two points per day when she succeeds at a Bluff, Diplomacy, or Intimidate check against a creature that is not friendly to her and has a CR no less than 3 lower than her character level.

Expertise (Ex): You are an expert at dealing with challenges that test your skills, be the challenges social or otherwise. At 1st level, when attempting a Bluff or Sense Motive check, you can roll 1d6 (your expertise die) and add the result of the roll to your check as an insight bonus. You can use this and other expertise abilities as long as you have at least 1 point in your Envoy Intensity Pool. At 5th level, anytime you roll your expertise die, you gain a +1 bonus to the result. At 9th, 17th, and 20th levels, this bonus increases by 1. At 13th level, you roll 1d8 as your expertise die instead of 1d6.

Beginning at 9th level, you have even greater expertise with skills to which you can add your expertise die that you have also selected with the Skill Focus feat. For each such skill, once per day when rolling your expertise die to add to that skill, you may roll the expertise die twice and take the better of the two results.

Additionally whenever you successfully feint a foe (such as with the Bluff skill), you add your expertise die to the damage of your attack. This is considered precision damage, and creatures immune to critical hits or sneak attack are immune to this additional damage.

Skill Expertise (Ex): At 1st level and every 4 levels thereafter, you can use expertise with one additional class skill. You must have at least 1 rank in a skill to select it, and it must come from the following list: Appraise (Int), Diplomacy (Cha), Disable Device (Dex), Disguise (Cha), Escape Artist (Dex), Heal (Wis), Intimidate (Cha), Knowledge (any one) (Int), Linguistics (Int), Perform (Cha), Profession (Wis), Sleight of Hand (Dex), Stealth (Dex), and Use Magic Device (Cha).

Weapon Focus (Ex): At 3rd level, you gain Weapon Focus as a bonus feat for any one weapon with which you are proficient. This replaces the Weapon Specialization class feature.

Improvisations

The following improvisations are changed.

1st level

Get ’Em (Ex) [language-dependent, mind-affecting, sense-dependent]

As a move action, you can choose one enemy within 60 feet. Until the start of your next turn, you and your allies gain a +1 morale bonus to attack rolls made against that enemy. The bonus persists even if the enemy moves beyond 60 feet or out of line of sight or hearing.

At 6th level, you can spend 1 Resolve Point to grant this bonus to attack rolls and damage rolls against all enemies who are within 60 feet.

This bonus increases to +2 at 5th level, and by an additional +1 at every 5 envoy levels thereafter.

Inspiring Boost (Ex) [language-dependent, mind-affecting, sense-dependent]

As a standard action, you can signal an ally within 30 feet and grant them a number of temporary hit points equal to twice your envoy level + your Charisma modifier; at 15th level, this increases to three times your envoy level + your Charisma modifier. These last 1 minute per envoy level, or until depleted. Once an ally has benefited from your inspiring boost, that ally can’t gain the benefits of your inspiring boost again for 24 hours, unless you spend 1 point from your envoy Intensity Pool.

At 6th level, you can spend 1 point from your envoy Intensity Pool to add your envoy level to the number of temporary hit points granted.

Look Alive (Ex) [mind-affecting]

All allies within 60 feet of you gain a +2 morale bonus to Perception and initiative checks as long as you are conscious and able to act.

4th Level

Focus (Ex) [mind-affecting, sense-dependent]

This ability can cause an ally to no longer be flat-footed, asleep, confused, or dazed.

Watch Out (Ex) [language-dependent, mind-affecting, sense-dependent]

The ally gains +4 AC and +4 to Reflex saves against the attack,

6th level

Draw Fire (Ex) [sense-dependent]

The foe’s ranged attacks and effects that do not include you suffer -4 to attack rolls and the save DCs are reduced by 2.

Improved Get ’Em (Ex)

Rather than being a +2 bonus, this increases your bonus from get ‘em by 1.

8th Level

Sustained Determination (Ex) [language-dependent, mind-affecting, sense-dependent]

This ability allows the ally to use any ability it would normally need to spend points to use (ki points, grit, panache, magus arcane pool, and so on—nearly any point-based mechanic other than a mythic ability), or use an ability they can use a limited number of times per day (as long as they can use it more than once per day).

Expertise Talents

Cultural Savant (Ex)

You can take 20 on Diplomacy checks to gather information, and Knowledge checks to learn about a creature that has an Int of 3 or greater, in only double the normal time

Engineering Adept (Ex)

You can forgo your expertise die on Craft or Disable Device to half the time of the check. You must be able to apply your expertise die to the skill to use this ability.

Fast Hack (Ex)
This just isn’t available.

Inspired Medic (Ex)

This ability works with Heal checks.

Skilled Linguist (Ex)

You gain an extra language for each rank of Linguistics you have.

Student of Technology (Ex)

You can take 20 on Appraise and Knowledge (engineering) checks in only double the normal time.

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Catharsis

There are emotions I simply don’t handle well. Anger. Embarrassment. Doubt. Pride. They mess me up, sometimes quite badly. So, when I was young, I suppressed them.

This did not turn out to be a viable long-term plan.

It took therapy to realize that.

I can be slow.

Now I have many coping mechanisms to try to make sure these emotions don’t kill or incapacitate me. Mostly that involves dealing with them at the time they happen so I have less need to suppress them.

But like I said, I can be slow. Even now, that isn’t always what happens.

So, sometimes I need catharsis.

Specifically, I need to watch or read something that will get through a chink in my emotional armor, poke a floodgate, and make it all come pouring out. It’s not perfect, but it can genuinely give me relief from stress that builds when anxiety, fear, or rage have gone too long unaddressed and unexpressed.

There are things from my childhood that work well, and things that call back to my childhood. I can watch the first time the Yamato fires the Wave Motion Gun (in either series or the live action movie), and be blubbering so hard I can’t see half the events. But I don’t need to. Because that’s ingrained in my psyche from the time I was 8.

Now to be clear, the tears, or hysterical laughter, or fist-pump of vengeance delivered, is not limited to those times when I need the emotional shock paddles. I am a sap, and some stuff gets me no matter what. If Luke is looking longingly at two suns, or you even play five notes of that music, I tear up. I am a sap.
But as long as that’s true anyway, it’s useful for me to take advantage of it from time to time.

Fantasy Tabar-Shishpar for Pathfinder

Welcome to more things inspired by Forged in Fire, where I do fantasy Pathfinder version of weapons I was introduced to by the television show Forged in Fire. Given how cool many of the weapons they feature on that show are, I decided to go back to this idea do another one. And while doing so, I thought I would continue to explore the design space created by using odd-sided dice (d5s, d7s, and so on) such as those available from Impact Miniatures (who are running a Kickstarter right now for more of these dice—I have nothing to do with the campaign, but I own a lot of their dice and are very happy with them).

This is an effort at a fantasy pathfinder version of the Tabar-Shishpar, a weapon from the Deccan region of India that appears to have existed in the 17th and 18th centuries, though it was always rare. “Tabar” means axe (the tabar was a horseman’s axe) and shishpar means mace and refers to a flnged mace introduced by the Delhi Sultanate. The Tabar-Shishpar is thus an axe-mace, with a single-bladed axe at one end and a mace at the other end of a roughly 3-foot-long metal haft.  The same stats can also be used for the Tabar-Zaghnal (“axe-hammer”).

This is a game option inspired by the real-world history of the weapon, and is designed to be no more accurate than the Pathfinder versions of the longsword or falchion.

Although the Tabar-Shishpar has a weapon head at each end of the haft (like a gnomish hook-hammer), it is not a double weapon—only one end is designed to be used at a time, with the haft being flipped by the user when switching which head to attack with. As a result magic weapon properties (and abilities that emulate them) affect the entire Tabar-Shishpar, rather than only one end of it.

When the mace head is used, the axe is held facing outward to prevent self-injury.

Tabar-Shishpar (Two-Handed Martial Weapon)

Cost 20 gp     Weight 1.5 lbs.

Light: Dmg (S) 1d9 (B, S)     DMG (M) 1d11 (B, S)     Crit 20, x3     Switch-hit

Switch-Hit: The Tabar-Shishpar does either bludgeoning or slashing damage, depending on how you hold it. Changing between the two damage types is a swift or move action. If you are not proficient with the Tabar-Shishpar and you roll a natural 1 on an attack roll (a “1” shows on the d20), you must either drop the weapon or do half base weapon damage (ignoring all modifiers) to yourself.

Speaking of Going Back to Cool Things

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Tech Noir Setting Rules

Tech Noir is a genre that mixes the tropes, themes, and archetypical characters and stories of noir and hard boiled fiction with science-fiction technology and aesthetics. It’s the genre of stories about illegal psychics on the run from a government that wants to put them in internment camps and the one ex-psy-cop who can help them escape; or a missing microchip that can hack any computer and the detective hired by corrupt cops to find it since it’s believed to be somewhere in Neon Town; or the billionaire inheritor of a megacorporation who wants to know why her parents were killed in an aircar accident, and doesn’t know who to trust so she turns to outsiders to solve the crime.

The Starfinder Roleplaying Game isn’t specifically designed to emulate Tech Noir, but if everyone in a group is willing to give the tropes a try, there’s only a few things that need to be adjusted for it to do the job quite well.

Gear

Tech Noir isn’t about killing monsters or taking their stuff, though both those things can happen. It’s about investigating, surviving, exploring themes, and earning experience points. The GM ignores wealth per level, and “treasure” may be as little as 5 credits a day plus expenses. Instead, you get to pick gear at every character level, with some gear getting special rules on how its recovered or recharged.

“Gear,” in this context, is anything that would go in the equipment chapter of the Starfinder Core Ruleook, so cybernetics and such count. You can even take “services” as gear, in which case they count as contacts (and treat “item level” as the npc contact level), but you have to go to them for help (no more often than once per game session)—they aren’t cohorts.

This equipment has a minimum item level of 1, but even at first level it’s important to know which gear fills which slot (since recharge/reuse rules are different).

Armor has no environmental protections, and always looks like typical clothing. Mostly suits and trenchcoats.

*You get one piece of gear of your level+1 or less. If it uses charges or batteries you never run out of supplies for it, though you do need to take time to reload normally, and you can’t use those supplies for any other equipment. If you lose this, it is restored or replaced within 24 hours or as soon as you get back to your base of operations.

*You also get one pieces of gear of your level or less. If it uses charges or batteries you get one spare every time you hit your home base. If you lose this, it is restored or replaced as soon as you get back to your base of operations (but not more often than once per 2 days.)

*You get two pieces of gear of your level -1 or less. If it uses charges or batteries you get one spare every time you hit your home base, no more than once per game session. If you lose these, they are restored or replaced near the beginning of the next game session.

*You get four pieces of gear of your level -3 or less. If you lose these, you’re out of luck until you gain a new character level.

*If you are 5th level or higher, you get four pieces of gear of your level -4 or less. If you lose these, you’re out of luck until you gain a new character level.

Adventures

Tech noir adventures are much more likely to be mysteries than jungle exploration, first contact with new alien species, or raids into ancient dungeons—though tech noir CAN tell those stories, with an additional mystery/drama subplot.

In the first or second session of a new tech noir adventure, the GM should make clear why the mystery or complication of the adventure is. After each successful encounter, the GM must give the PCs a lead. No skill check is needed for this (though additional clues may be available with successful skill checks). The lead is, at minimum, a way to get to another encounter related to the mystery or complication, which in turn leads to another, and so on. After 13 successful encounters, the mystery or complication is solved (by shooting the bad guy and finding his diaries explaining everything, if nothing else). Noir detectives and agents often fumble about most of the story, getting jumped by foes they’ve never met and finding allies suddenly getting cagey for no good reason. By tenaciously pulling through, the noir protagonist eventually uncovers the truth. A tech noir adventure should be set up the same way.

Example of Tech Noir in Fiction
Akira
Blade Runner
Blade Runner 2049
Brazil
Dark City
Dredd
Gattica
Ghost in the Shell (anime)
Metropolis
Minority Report
Soylent Green

Source of Inspiration
Shadowrun—all forms of this RPG are well suited to draw ideas for magic-infused tech noir.
Garrett Files Series. These books by Glen Cook have no tech, but they combine noir with fantasy in a way that should be inspirational for anyone looking to create Starfinder Noir adventures.

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Fictional Sites for Sci-Fi RPGs

Infosphere Sites

These sites are designed for the Starfinder Roleplaying Game, but can be adapted to different sci-fi games as desired.

Each of these sites is popular and powerful enough to exist in the infosphere of hundreds or even thousands of settled worlds. While each planetary infosphere has its own local iteration of these sites, where residents on that planet can interact with it in real time, the offworld sections are regular updated by automatic downloads from the databanks of ships and transmissions from other worlds.

Each site also lists a focus. For every 5 ranks in Computers and Culture a character has (whichever skill they have the most ranks in – you don’t get twice as many foci for having ranks in both), they receive a focus in one infosphere site for free. (A GM may also use inforsphere site focus as benefits for things like themes or story awards.) This represents a strong understanding of how the site works (both technically and in regards to its culture.) Focus with each site gives you a minor bonus when you take specific actions, or allows you to take actions you normally couldn’t. This requires you to have access to the planetary inforsphere, and if the action requires the involvement of people on other planets, its effect is delayed until a ship or transmission  carries the request to and from that world (normally double the time requires for a hyperspace trip.)

Blather: A popular venue for extremely short-form messages (known as “blats”), Blather is used both as a way to have public conversations and to push specific marketing ideas. Many Icons and leaders use Blather as a way to send a message directly to their fans, followers, foes, and the general public.

Focus: You can gather information (as the Diplomacy task) with a Computers or Culture check. The first gather information check you make each day takes no time, as it represents your general knowledge gained from being up to date on Blather.

Chekkit: A distributed messageboard with specific-topic sections (subchekkits) on tens of thousands of topics. Chekkit is largely free of corporate control (though it is owned by a coalition of companies) and is self-moderated by members. This freedom allows it to be used as a populist place for discussion, research, and crowdsourcing obscure questions, but also allows it to be used to promote and organize antisocial, bigoted, fringe, and actively harmful social movements.

Focus: You can attempt Diplomacy and Intimidate checks with individuals connected to an infosphere by driving campaigns of popular opinion in the appropriate subchekkits. This takes a minimum of 1d6 days, and you can’t have more than one pending skill check of this type at a time.

Infopedia: Infopedia is a user-driven repository of information, with articles written by, and edited by, the general public. In general this method produces articles with considerable accuracy, and it often allows subjects that do not draw scholarly notice to be thoroughly covered. However, it is also vulnerable to both accidental and intentional falsification of facts.

Focus: You can take 20 on a skill check for a skill you have no ranks in, even for checks that normally require you to be trained in that skill, but doing so takes twice as long as is normally required to take 20. Additionally, with a Computers or Culture check you can attempt to make a Bluff check to introduce a false piece of information to the search results of a planet’s infosphere. The base DC of this Bluff check is the same as the DC to discover the accurate information. Anyone who researches the question with a skill check result below your total to introduce false information cannot determine which fact is real. If they also fail the original research DC by 5 or more, they accept the false fact you introduce as true. Your skill check may be modified by the same kinds of modifiers that make Bluff checks more difficult, and the effective total of your check goes down by 5 per day as the general public corrects the misinformation.

MyFace: The most popular social media infosphere site through the homeworlds and their allies. Users have profiles with extensive personal information, and generally post thoughts, pictures, and even video of everything from their political beliefs to what they had for breakfast. A powerful tool for keeping in touch with friends who are far away, but also a massive tool for corporate opinion-shaping and data-mining and a growing encroachment into the privacy of everyone, as any public event may be broadly broadcast on MyFace.

Focus: You can disguise your online activity by using a false MyFace account as the sign-in and basis of everything you do. Individuals attempting to figure out who you are must make a Computers check with a DC of 10 + your Computers or Culture bonus, or they are fooled into assigning your online activity to a fake MyFace account. You also gain a +2 circumstance bonus on Diplomacy checks with creatures that you have successfully identified the true MyFace accounts of.

Speaking of Sites…

I have a Patreon, and so does one of my Sponsors, Justin Andrew Mason! He’s the sponsor for this post, so if you want to thank him, go check out HIS Patreon!

I got so excited I even wrote up a fifth, self-referential, site on my Patreon — the fundraising sci-fi site “Sponseor.”

The Cinematic Sci-Fi Timeline

This is a cinematic sci-fi timeline, and effort to create a rich history of advancing technology and the issues, heroes, and morality tales that lead to a moment rich for player character involvement. That moment might be at the end of this progression, or at any point along the way the GM finds interesting.

This isn’t an effort to actually jam all these differing stories into a single continuity, and I am not claiming RUNAWAY is actually the precursor to RoboCop. I am also aware that some of these do have official crossovers (half of then through Dark Horse comics), and I don’t care if I invalidate those either.

Nor am I trying to fit ever science-fiction movie in existence into a single reality. Just a specific subset I feel have some themes and throughlines in common that make for an interesting potential universe.

This is just a thought experiment, designed to place actual inspirations into slots where a pastiche of each *could* form a logical continuous timeline with just a little tweaking.

Each movie includes the year the movie was released, for clarity. No specific set time is suggested for when these movies should occur, but I assume the timeline runs roughly 200 years from 1970 to 2170. The timeline movies forward with each italicized breakdown of how the listed movies represent the events of that point in the timeline.

The Timeline (1970-2070)

Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)
The governments of the world come to accept that alien life is real and travelling the stars, but keep the information from the general public.

Terminator (1984)
Crucial moments in the development of the world are impacted by a very small number of time travelers, resulting in multiple, overlapping alternate timelines, proof of some variant of the many-worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics.

Carrie (1976)
Firestarter (1984)
The Fury (1978)
Perhaps as a step in evolution, perhaps as a response to the first cases of time travel and alien contact, verifiable psychic phenomenon begin to sporadically manifest. The governments of the world alternate between exploiting and just killing such talents, but needless to say thigns often go poorly.

Predator (1987)
Aliens continue to visit Earth in small numbers and without the public learning, but such visits are not always friendly.

Looker (1981)
As technology advances, the wealthy and powerful begin to realize it can be used to control the lower classes, to focus even more power in the hands of the few.

Runaway (1984)
As society groans under the need to provide for an expanding population and worsening natural resources, autonomous robots become increasingly common in advanced societies. Something they go rouge, and must be put down. Sometimes an increasingly tech-savvy criminal class makes use of them.

Push (2009)
Scanners (1981)
Suspect Zero (2004)
The number of individuals with psychic powers grows, and organizations begin to form to deal with them exclusively.

A Clockwork Orange (1971)
Predator II (1990)
The pressure on society begins to lead to the collapse of institutions and social norms. As the middle class ceases to exist, the underclass becomes increasingly violent and hard to control. The tiny sliver of the wealthy and powerful, and their increasingly independent corporations, seek to control the masses through any means. This is a rich environment for a small number of alien visitors to exploit conditions for their own amusement or gain.

Red Lights (2012)
Slowly, the scientific community begins to publicly study psychic powers, though skepticism remains high.

RoboCop (1987)
Governments begin to collapse and corporations gain more power. This leads to efforts to have corporate-controlled paramilitary forces, and to use cybernetic technologies to enforce obedience on a soldier-servant class.

Event Horizon (1997)
The strain humanity is putting on Earth is clearly unsustainable. The oligarchs and mega-corporations experiment with ways to spread to other worlds, though their reckless willingness to attempt anything that might succeed leads to horrific failures.

Outland (1981)
Total Recall (1990)
Thanks to advanced in space travel, humanity begin to move to new worlds, though all still within the solar system.

Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972)
The need for cheap labor leads to attempts to uplift other simians. But if we made apes intelligent and independent enough to serve as slave labor, they are intelligent and independent enough to rebel. Such efforts are outlawed.

Furtureworld (1976)
Rollerball (1975)
Solent Green (1973)
Westworld (1973)
The world is in near collapse. The upper classes have literally fantasy worlds to play in with their nearly unlimited wealth, while everyone else fights for scraps and is distracted by death sports. Early cyborg technology begins to advance to primitive androids, though these require fairly regular maintenance and human-augmented control.

(If society does totally collapse, a new timeline forms here, with Damnation Alley, Mad Max, A Boy and His Dog, and so on, eventually reaching Thundarr. Our timeline doesn’t go that route.)

Minority Report (2002)
The existence of psychics is publicly accepted, and they begin to be integrated into the government and corporate efforts to control a growing population that is increasingly dissatisfied and dangerous.

Blade Runner (1982)
The total collapse of human civilization is prevented by creating autonomous androids to serve as the ultimate slave labor force, while humanity begins to truly move to the stars. But only those who are healthy and talented are chosen my megacorporations to be shipped off Earth, and it turns out intelligent and independent android slaves have many of the same issues intelligent and independent ape slaves did.

Alien (1979)
Silent Running (1972)
Robots begin to be replaced by androids in most tasks, though simpler robot technology is more stable. Though some governments have gone to the stars, it is the corporations who have the money and resources to push the boundary of the final frontier. What they find doesn’t always go well for the corporate employees who find it.

Blade Runner 2049
Back on Earth, things still boil (details left out as spoilers for the movie)

Aliens (1986)
Colonization becomes standard, and most android behavior issues are solved. But as humanity’s sphere of influence spreads, so does its interactions with other alien life.

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Spoiler-Free Blade Runner 2049 Thoughts

I saw Blade Runner 2049 with some friends.

I think it does a wonderful job matching the style and world and storytelling style of Blade runner.

This despite doing some things I normally think of as terrible ideas for sequels. But in this case, they were good calls.

I also think it was full of thematic and philosophical nuggets that are more interesting in conjunction and contrast with the original than they would be alone, but going into detail would be spoilers, so I’m not doing that yet.

In any case, I’d be happy to watch Blade Runner 2079 when it’s released in 2052.

Blade Jogger

Blade Jogger

In preparation for seeing Blade Runner 2049, Lj and I opted to watch a version of the original.

I’d like to claim it inspired me to write a post about how the only innocent character isn’t the protagonist or antagonist, or thoughts on what we owe our inheritors, an essay on the value of a life lived for a single moment, or my analysis on why the universe itself cries throughout the entire film, or something classy like that.

But that just wouldn’t be me.

Instead you get:

Ten Mash-Ups I’d Watch But Have Never Heard Anyone Suggest

(and their advertising tag lines).

Blade Runner vs. Predator
Who hunts the hunter?

Robocop V – Chucky Cop
When the police are demonic dolls, who do you turn to for help?

Christine: Transformer
Evil is changing.

Dungeons and Dagon
You are not high enough level.

Men in Black Mirror
Whatever’s going on, it’s weird and depressing.

Doctor Clue
Master Mustard, in the 11th century, with the lead pipe.

G.I Joe vs the Volcano
Amercia’s Best can Get the Job, but can they Do the Job?

Gremlinbusters
Who You Gonna Feed After Midnight?

The Last Star Writer
A fanfiction forum is a test from an alien alliance to pick the one geek who can think of ideas awesome enough to save the galaxy.

Guardians of the Galaxy Quest
They’re going to need Guy’s leg.

Honorable Mentions
The Fhtagn Four
Mr. Fhtagn. His mind can bend into any shape!
Invisible and Insane Woman. Out of Sight, Out of Mind.
Eldritch Thing. It’s Cthulhuing Time!
Human Torch. We set a guy on fire. He… doesn’t do much.

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