I had always wondered what the HELL could cause Cthulhu* to give so much side-eye.
I now believe he had read the commends section of the Necronomicon.
“The layout of R’lyeh is so bad it’s hard not to conclude it was intentionally designed to inconvenience visitors.”
“A single read-through and I have already found five runes that would cause you to be ripped apart in the streets by invisible spirits. I am disappointed, as I (very reasonably) expected better editing from my favorite Elder God. No effort went into this.”
“I know Cthulhu may be uncomfortable discussing how chubby his tentacles are getting, but as a fan I feel I have to make sure he understands how dangerous that is for his health.”
(With much love to artist Erol Otus, and the original 1st Edition Deities and Demigods.)